...The wind howls like a hammer,
The night blows cold and rainy,
My love she's like some raven
At my window with a broken wing.

Xaar Paam Moi Puwoti Nixate

- Jayanta Hazarika
(Translated by http://thistle-down.blogspot.com/2009/12/jayanta-hazarika.html)

Will wake up at dawn

I will wake up
At the crack of dawn
When dewdrops are falling;
That hour, which moistens
The dry dust lying on the road.
Mother, won’t you wake me up?

I want to see
How the crimson sun
Vanquishes all the darkness;
How it casts a spell
On each budding flower,
So it blooms in all its glory.
How it fills the heart
Of the vacant air
With sweet fragrances.
Mother, won’t you wake me up?

Mother, I want to learn
The secret spell of creation
I want to know
What is that skill
That can drive away
All emptiness?
I too have a wish:
To open up and bloom,
Like a glorious sunflower.
Mother, won’t you wake me up?

“Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity.”

- Herman Melville

to the block in my head:

i don't wanna write unless you give me more
it only widens the gulf between what i feel and what i say

Motherhood and apple pie

moments inspiring a love alien
precious but so hard to come by
is there a point in keeping account
for we are born and so must we die
but you know that just as well as i

give me today or give me tomorrow
give me your love or gentle pity
i accept all this with equanimity
for eons ago i had to eat humble pie
but you know that just as well as i

we meet people, we make friends
we work, eat, drink and dance
its a fabulous world we live in
but somehow it gets boring, so i try
but you know that just as well as i

and so i met you one wonderful day
having no clue whats comin' my way
and i'd still say that i had a joy ride
laughter with you always gave me a high
but you know that just as well as i

and its at times like these that i wonder
if we could have been free and together
its the best of wishes i can wish for us
for before your time comes i could die
but you know that just as well as i

Out of rhythm..and rhyme

i have seen this place before
its an image of a time from far away
where there was love to give away
and i still had time

i have crawled out of here before
where they said i'm too late
and the colours of the rainbow
had already been given away

i have felt like this before
helpless, shallow and hollow
expendable and not knowing
what i was being spent for

but i gotta not let it show
keep it under wraps
and save what is left
for better times will come

but most of all i gotta learn
to keep my heart on leash..

Danny Boy

Paul Robeson. The American Hero. The brother I never had :)

Deluded deluded. i am deluded.
in love with a girl who had never alluded
about the fleeting nature of things
leaving behind some needles and pins

Some Gibberish

a fever takes hold
like a python on its prey
waiting for the last gasp.

Another time by the river

you who have been flowing for so long
have seen all there was to see
you who have taken all their debris
and yet gave them a clean breeze.

i come to you for some solace
i come to unburden lost dreams
give me your heart so i can bury this deep
and tell myself i can still be clean.

i have seen good times, seen some bad
but you have seen all there is to see
and here i am once again at your shores
to wash away this misery.

Desolation

(Read this a long time ago in an autobiographical called "My God Died Young" by Sashthi Brata. A fan ever since)

i looked with eyes of wasteful grey,
i glimpsed the brittle words that fell
from lips of china, broken glass
helpless glitter that gold can tell.
sighs were woven in my thoughts
that rose and fell and came again.

some words had meaning, others none;
i could tell them by the way they came.
their limping gait, their wayward dress,
by the easy graceful way they fled.
some would die, i'd bury them
in some brass vase stored away.
and some could burn like incense flame
at cold queer feet of heartless clay

i parted with the ways that be,
from a homely happy future hell.
i feared some works which came to life
in the silver land with secret spells.
i plucked them out with trembling hands
and bled my heart in doing so.
for lips of china, silvered glass,
can never kiss the vibrant soul.

i spoke with lidless eyes that were
enmeshed in dreams that dreamers know.
i saw one vacant dreamless world,
lonesome, weary, painful, slow

- Sasthi Brata

She was a friend of mine

So, what were you thinking Danny boy? Thought she really liked you eh?

well, you know..we were talking good, no? i told you about how i felt really close to her and all. she told me about stuff only someone you trust would tell you. though i'm not sure why she trusted me.

what did she tell you?

she said i was a genuine person and she liked me and all...although she never promised she would stay, i thought she would want to, you know...i did try to stop her, you know..

you are a fool, Danny. don't you know by now it's just a game? they will take an interest as long as you play by the rules.

what rules? you mean play hard to get and all that?

yeah! thats it!

but thats exactly what she liked about me, you moron. she liked that we did not have to plan it. she liked me.

then why did she leave?

do you think i should have been calculative and should have had planned my moves?

yes! don't you realise by now that they are always negotiating? Always!!

yeah..guess you have a point. but i don't like this game. you know what?

what..

you just wait and watch!

Colours for sale

this guy is really good..what he does with the old Harry Belafonte song...sets your mood straight.

Damned mornings

another morning. the sound of rising traffic seeping in through my window. there's a rush outside.
i lay in my bed wide awake, thinking and wondering. its not yet time for me to wake up. maybe i can get some more sleep, i should try. maybe i should skip office today. go and sit near that lake and watch the water. yes, that wouldn't be bad.

wish i could just go back to sleep. maybe m just afraid to face the day. m gonna sink like a stone, gonna go all the way down and never come up.

So Far

today if you called me from afar

i would still come to you

if on the way i met strangers

who offered me a walk in their gardens

do not worry, for it will just be a walk

and i would still come to you

but i want to see the world

fly across oceans and visit unknown places

face dangers that i have not known before

be battered and bruised by rain and hunger

be rich with all the wisdom i can absorb

And in the end, i would come to you still

for you are the one where it all ends

the final station where i take rest

to fall into a deep slumber in your arms

if only you called me from afar

Proof of concept

what if i were a goat climbing up on a steep hill

not doing it because i can see grass on the landing

not doing it because i promised someone i could

not doing it because i think i will know once i reach there

what if i were a kid taking pleasure getting bruised

not because i know it will heal

not because i expect a warm and soothing voice

not because i want to look rough

And my mind wanders among dark landscapes

i try to make sense of my surroundings

but things never quite remain the same for me

how will i get out of here? where are the clear blue skies?

and what if this was poetry?

poetry of a retarded mind..

by now i'm quite sure this was nonsense